5 STEPS TO HELP YOU BOUNCE BACK FROM BIG MISTAKES

As a volleyball player, I was thrilled to watch the VNL finals between the USA and France. These two are great teams, and I saw all their emotion and effort to get the so-much-wanted gold medal, and they made only a few mistakes throughout the game.

(4:16) The match arrives in the 5th set; everything can happen now. The score is 10 - 14 for the French team; the game is still on. The setter gives the ball to David, number 20, the middle blocker from the USA team, and hits the ball into the net. 10-15, and France wins the gold.

Errors are the last thing anyone wants to make. Nevertheless, mistakes do happen; we all know that. When our mistake results in the winning point for the other team, it's not easy to accept and deal with it; at least, I never found it easy.

I couldn't stop thinking about David after that ball. How has he been feeling since then? I hope he has the right tools and assistance to handle it.

I know a feeling; you tend to forget that on the other side of the net, a team is trying to beat you. Also, after a mistake, you tend to forget that you are a team that loses and wins together. As a result, you tend to blame yourself for losing the whole game, as if you were the only one to be blamed for it.

I remember the times when this happened to me. My mind wandered back and forth, thinking about that moment, reliving that action (including every emotion) repeatedly.

What could I have done better? Why didn't I take a better option? At my level, I shouldn't have done that. Do you think this sounds familiar to you? I was filling my mind constantly with these questions and affirmations.

But the truth is, dwelling on that mistake did not help at all.

So how did I learn to bounce back from a big mistake (and still learning)? I'll share what I learned to apply to get things back on track.

1. Accept my mistake. I would begin to bounce back sooner if I accepted that I'm not perfect and that everyone makes mistakes; why should it be different for me?
2. Make no excuses. When things don't go as planned, it can be easier to blame the ball, the set, lights, noises in the gym, or even esoteric causes or bad luck. I understood that taking full responsibility for my mistake would allow me to recover sooner.
3. Recognize that I'm not the mistake I made. This step took much work to achieve. Understand that my error did not define me as a person or athlete; it didn't make me a less valuable or worthy athlete. I was not that mistake; I made that mistake; these affirmations are two very different things.
4. Talk about it. Because I felt embarrassed and guilty, I usually isolated myself from coaches and teammates, only worsening the situation. However, I learned that talking to my mates, coaches, or family members about it eased my pain. They often said something that sheds light on what happened that I may not have seen, and their words made me feel a little better. If you need to talk with somebody, let me know, I'd love to be there for you.
5. Find a lesson from the mistake. Once I could draw a lesson from it, I could see it with different eyes as an opportunity to learn and grow, and suddenly my negative emotions started turning into more positive ones.

I'm still a work in progress, and I learn every day. As I've always said, I don't have the solution to everything; it's not my goal. However, sharing is powerful because people understand they are not alone. There are other athletes out there who have gone through that same situation or are still dealing with it.

These steps can help you or a teammate today or when you feel your mistake is too big to deal with.

And remember,

"There are no mistakes, only lessons."